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Facing rejection, especially when it recurs often, is anything but enjoyable. Someone is declining your work, delivering a clear “Not interested.” Being an author, I am well acquainted with rejection. I commenced proposing articles half a century past, just after finishing university. From that point, I have had several works rejected, along with nonfiction proposals and many essays. Over the past score of years, concentrating on op-eds, the refusals have multiplied. Regularly, I receive a setback frequently—totaling in excess of 100 annually. Cumulatively, rejections throughout my life number in the thousands. Today, I could have a PhD in rejection.

But, does this seem like a self-pitying rant? Absolutely not. Since, finally, at seven decades plus three, I have embraced rejection.

How Have I Accomplished It?

A bit of background: At this point, almost everyone and their distant cousin has said no. I’ve never counted my acceptance statistics—that would be quite demoralizing.

For example: lately, a newspaper editor nixed 20 submissions in a row before approving one. In 2016, over 50 publishing houses vetoed my book idea before someone gave the green light. A few years later, 25 literary agents declined a book pitch. One editor suggested that I submit potential guest essays less often.

My Phases of Setback

When I was younger, every no were painful. I felt attacked. It seemed like my creation was being turned down, but who I am.

Right after a manuscript was rejected, I would begin the process of setback:

• First, surprise. What went wrong? How could these people be overlook my skill?
• Next, denial. Certainly you’ve rejected the wrong person? It has to be an administrative error.
• Third, rejection of the rejection. What do editors know? Who appointed you to hand down rulings on my efforts? They’re foolish and your publication is subpar. I refuse this refusal.
• Fourth, frustration at them, then self-blame. Why would I put myself through this? Could I be a martyr?
• Fifth, bargaining (preferably accompanied by false hope). What will it take you to see me as a once-in-a-generation talent?
• Then, despair. I’m not talented. What’s more, I’ll never be successful.

This continued over many years.

Great Examples

Certainly, I was in excellent company. Accounts of authors whose manuscripts was at first turned down are legion. The author of Moby-Dick. The creator of Frankenstein. The writer of Dubliners. Vladimir Nabokov’s Lolita. Joseph Heller’s Catch-22. Almost every writer of repute was initially spurned. Since they did succeed despite no’s, then maybe I could, too. Michael Jordan was dropped from his youth squad. Many US presidents over the last 60 years had earlier failed in campaigns. The actor-writer says that his movie pitch and desire to appear were rejected 1,500 times. He said rejection as a wake-up call to rouse me and persevere, rather than retreat,” he stated.

Acceptance

Then, upon arriving at my senior age, I reached the final phase of setback. Peace. Today, I better understand the various causes why an editor says no. Firstly, an editor may have just published a comparable article, or have one underway, or be considering a similar topic for another contributor.

Or, more discouragingly, my idea is of limited interest. Or the editor thinks I lack the credentials or standing to succeed. Or isn’t in the market for the wares I am peddling. Maybe didn’t focus and reviewed my submission too quickly to recognize its abundant merits.

Feel free call it an awakening. Everything can be declined, and for any reason, and there is virtually not much you can do about it. Certain reasons for rejection are permanently not up to you.

Manageable Factors

Additional reasons are your fault. Let’s face it, my ideas and work may sometimes be flawed. They may not resonate and impact, or the idea I am trying to express is poorly presented. Or I’m being obviously derivative. Or a part about my grammar, especially dashes, was offensive.

The essence is that, despite all my decades of effort and rejection, I have succeeded in being widely published. I’ve written two books—my first when I was in my fifties, my second, a autobiography, at older—and in excess of a thousand pieces. My writings have featured in newspapers major and minor, in local, national and global platforms. An early piece ran decades ago—and I have now submitted to that publication for half a century.

Still, no blockbusters, no author events publicly, no features on popular shows, no speeches, no honors, no accolades, no Nobel Prize, and no medal. But I can more easily handle rejection at this stage, because my, admittedly modest achievements have eased the blows of my setbacks. I can now be philosophical about it all at this point.

Valuable Setbacks

Setback can be educational, but provided that you pay attention to what it’s indicating. If not, you will likely just keep taking rejection all wrong. So what teachings have I gained?

{Here’s my advice|My recommendations|What