Previous English leader Lewis Moody has revealed he has been found to have motor neurone disease and stated he cannot yet face the full ramifications of the muscle-degenerating condition that took the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old, who was involved in the World Cup champion 2003 side and won multiple English and European titles with Leicester, appeared on BBC Breakfast 14 days after discovering he has the illness.
"There's a certain looking the future in the face and not wanting to fully comprehend that at the minute," he stated.
"It's not that I don't understand where it's going. We grasp that. But there is absolutely a hesitation to face what's ahead for now."
Moody, talking with his wife Annie, explains conversely he feels "peaceful" as he concentrates on his present wellbeing, his family and getting ready for when the disease worsens.
"Possibly that's shock or possibly I handle situations in another way, and when I have the details, it's easier," he added.
First Indications
Moody discovered he had MND after observing some lack of strength in his upper arm while working out in the gym.
After physical therapy didn't help the condition, a series of scans showed neural pathways in his brain and spinal cord had been damaged by MND.
"You receive this condition identification of MND and we're rightly quite affected about it, but it's rather peculiar because I think everything is fine," he added.
"I don't sense sick. I don't experience unwell
"My symptoms are very minor. I have some muscle deterioration in the hand area and the upper arm.
"I'm still able to performing all activities. And optimistically that will persist for as long as is possible."
Disease Development
MND can develop rapidly.
As per the charity MND Association, the disease claims a third of people within a twelve months and over half within 24 months of diagnosis, as swallowing and inhalation become harder.
Treatment can only delay worsening.
"It's never me that I experience sorrow for," commented an emotional Moody.
"There's grief around having to inform my mum - as an sole offspring - and the consequences that has for her."
Family Effect
Talking from the residence with his wife and their pet dog by his side, Moody was consumed with emotion when he mentioned telling his sons - teenage Dylan and 15-year-old Ethan - the heartbreaking news, commenting: "It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do."
"They are two excellent boys and that was pretty devastating," Moody remarked.
"We sat on the couch in tears, Ethan and Dylan both hugging in each other, then the dog jumped over and started licking the drops off our faces, which was rather amusing."
Moody stated the priority was remaining in the moment.
"There exists no treatment and that is why you have to be very strongly concentrated on just accepting and enjoying each moment now," he commented.
"As my wife mentioned, we've been very fortunate that the only real determination I made when I left playing was to spend as much period with the kids as possible. We can't reclaim those years back."
Player Connection
Top-level sportspeople are disproportionately affected by MND, with research suggesting the incidence of the illness is up to six times greater than in the broader public.
It is thought that by limiting the air obtainable and creating damage to motor neurone cells, regular, intense physical activity can activate the condition in those already vulnerable.
Sports Career
Moody, who earned 71 England selections and toured with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was nicknamed 'Mad Dog' during his sports career, in acknowledgment of his fearless, relentless style to the game.
He competed through a stress fracture of his leg for a duration with Leicester and once caused a training-ground confrontation with fellow player and friend Martin Johnson when, frustrated, he discarded a tackle pad and started participating in tackles.
After appearing as a reserve in the Rugby World Cup final win over Australia in 2003, he secured a ball at the back of the line-out in the decisive passage of play, setting a foundation for scrum-half Matt Dawson to attack and Jonny Wilkinson to execute the match-winning field goal.
Backing Community
Moody has previously informed Johnson, who captained England to that title, and a few other former players about his diagnosis, but the others will be finding out his news with the remainder of public.
"There will be a time when we'll need to depend on their support but, at the moment, just having that type of affection and acceptance that people are available is what's important," he stated.
"The sport is such a wonderful group.
"I told to the kids the other day, I've had an amazing life.
"Even when it concluded now, I've enjoyed all of it and accepted all of it and got to do it with remarkable people.
"When you get to label your passion your vocation, it's one of the most important honors.
"Achieving this for so long a time with the squads that I did it with was a pleasure. And I understand they will desire to assist in every way they can and I look forward to having those talks."
